I've always kinda wanted to try my hand at writing stuff. Mostly short stories, but poetry too. I haven't done much yet, because I'm very picky and probably waaaay too hard on myself when it comes to this stuff.
End of a School Day
A bitter wind blows...
Beneath my hood, eyes stinging.
Now, a long walk home.
Super Mario Bros. Patch 1.0.3
I originally posted this satirical look at over-patching on the Diablo 3 message boards in 2012. It has been edited a bit for clarity. Enjoy!
- Our records indicate that most players stop playing immediately after finishing the First Quest. To give further incentive to play the Second Quest, Fire Flowers have been removed from the First Quest and from the first six worlds of the Second Quest. Fire Flowers are a powerful upgrade and will only be obtainable by those brave enough to take on and master the more difficult Second Quest.
- The way the game determines the number of fireworks that go off at the end of outdoor levels has been changed. The amounts are now randomized to prevent manipulation by exploiters trying to maximize scores or minimize times.
- Sliding speed reduced by 50% to keep exploiters from bypassing content by sliding under walls meant for Small Mario.
- While we understand that players have favorite worlds that they'd like to be able to access quickly, warp zones made it too easy to bypass content. Therefore, we have removed all warp zones from the game.
- A small number of players have been exploiting the point/life reward for stomping on enemies without touching the ground. Therefore we're completely removing that mechanic from the game.
- Fixed a bug that allowed players to slide through walls.
- Fixed a bug that caused players to warp to level 2-2 and be stuck repeating the level in an infinite loop.
We've become a society in which Facebook has decided your guilt before you've even been accused.